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WOLF: Mini 3 Musketeers still reign as best Halloween candy

COLUMN: Peanut butter cups, Snickers among title contenders
3musketeers
Mini 3 Musketeers.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Does that include the tummy as well?

It's that time of year again, when the leaves turn colour, there's a chill in the air and a formerly young man's fancy turns to the thought of mini chocolate bars.

Each year, our home attracts in the neighbourhood of 300 young ghouls and goblins, meaning I purchase some 600-plus little treats to dole out. General rule being two per person, one if you have no costume (potential air drop) and none if you're clearly 45 years old.

Admittedly, I'll snag a few for myself but the last few years, I've been missing out on the single-finest Halloween treat of all time.

That, of course, is the mini 3 Musketeers bar. Sometimes known as 'fun-sized'. Those small bars remain an unsolvable mystery to me, in that I really wouldn't want one full-sized 3 Musketeers (this goes for all chocolate bars) but I could easily pound dozens and dozens of the little ones in one sitting. 

I mentioned this scenario a few years back, and am still waiting for someone to come up with the underlying science. 

The problem with my personal favourite is that I haven't been able to find any in Canada for years. The picture accompanying this piece was taken several years back, when I randomly stumbled across a bin of them in a store in Nanaimo and may or may not have purchased all of them at once.

You can still order them online, but they're wildly expensive, so I stand on principle, awaiting their return to somewhere close.

I have cheated. If any friend or family member heads south of the border and asks if I need any type of souvenir from their trip, 'Mini 3 Musketeers' is the immediate response. Although this year, I did change it up to 'Buc-ee's beaver nuggets', which were tasty but still far behind the champ.

I still haven't figured out what it is about the little gems that's so alluring. If asked for a favourite full-sized bar (who'll split one with me?) I'd lean toward a Snickers or a Milkybar (my Nana used to bring them back from England). Maybe a Caramilk or a single Reese's peanut butter cup, with a nod to the Skor bar. But for Halloween? Only one choice.

A couple of years back, we ran a story detailing a study of favourite Halloween candy.

Topping the list was Reese’s cups, followed by Skittles, M&M’s, Starburst and Hot Tamales. The bottom of the top 10 list saw Sour Patch Kids coming in at No. 6, followed by Hershey Kisses, Snickers, Tootsie Pops, and Candy Corn.

I wondered then, and I wonder now, who wants Candy Corn? Barf. And while I don't mind Sour Patch Kids or Rockets and the like, anything that doesn't involve chocolate at Halloween is definitely a tier down in the rankings. The tiny bags of potato chips are always welcome, but they just don't feel candyish enough.

And of course, any of those remain above the full-sized can of apple juice, the tooth brush, the leftover apples from a backyard tree or the little motivational notes I've seen when I check the bag when the kids get home. Important to look for anything nasty, and also to sneakily snag any mini 3 Musketeers.

What was your favourite find as young trick-or-treater? The worst 'treats'? Any memories that stick with you? I'd love to hear about them.

PQB News/Vancouver Island Free Daily editor Philip Wolf welcomes your questions, comments and story ideas. He can be reached at 250-905-0029 or via email at philip.wolf@pqbnews.com.

 

 





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