Ben Kilmer, during a trip he and Tonya took to the east coast in 2007. (submitted)

B.C. woman fighting to block coroner’s report detailing husband’s death

Fears revealing exactly how Ben Kilmer took his life will have traumatic effect on her two children

Vancouver Island’s Tonya Kilmer is outraged that the British Columbia Coroners Service is planning to release details of her husband’s death.

Kilmer, a resident of the Cowichan Valley, says she has seen the report and fears revealing exactly how Ben Kilmer took his life will have a traumatic effect on her two young children and other family members.

“When they are older and if they ask me, I would tell them the details could be very painful and are they sure they want to know,” Kilmer said.

The Chief Coroner will release the report as early as June 17, citing the public’s right to know and acceding to requests from media and what a Coroners office spokesperson called requesting agencies.

“The fact and concerns regarding your husband’s disappearance were widely shared and included requests for information,” Chief Coroner Lisa Lapointe wrote in a letter to Kilmer.

“To prevent anyone from now knowing the material facts surrounding your husband’s death when numerous public appeals were made to assist in determining those facts, is problematic and not consistent with the mandate of a coroner’s investigation or the role of the Coroners Service.”

Kilmer has asked the Chief Coroner to release a redacted version of the report that reveals that 41-year-old Ben committed suicide in May 2018 at a location near the Chemainus River, seven kilometres from where his van was found, but does not detail the specifics of how he killed himself.

Kilmer has turned to friends, politicians and social media in an attempt to block the release. She’s asking people to send an email to the chief coroner requesting that how Ben took his life not be disclosed to the public “given that the visual of how he took his life is not an image you want anyone in your family to be left with.”

Cowichan Valley MLA Sonia Furstenau says she has supported Tonya Kilmer in her attempts to block the release of the full report.

“My office has advocated for Tonya and I have spoken with [Minister of Public Safety and Solicitor General Mike Farnworth] but the Coroner’s Office is independent and it appears there’s nothing he can do,” Furstenau said. “Tonya has made compelling arguments that are impossible to disregard. It’s really upsetting and disappointing.

“Why should another’s person’s tragedy become fodder for someone else’s gossip?”

Kilmer says her argument for withholding sensitive details is based on extensive research she has done.

“Research has shown that a secondary traumatic event has extremely negative effects on child development and successful, resilient outcomes and that children suffer adversely from the graphic imagery,” she says.

In a November 2018 letter to the chief coroner, Kilmer stressed the need to keep the details from the public including family members.

“I highlighted that many other children, particularly those who knew and loved Ben well, would likewise be traumatized with the visual of this information.

“This could have a similar affect on us as adults and certainly has on Ben’s family and I.”

The BC Coroners office released this statement on Thursday:

“Section 69 of the Coroners Act allows the chief coroner to release all or part of a Coroner’s Report and requires that the chief coroner consider both the public interest in the report’s findings, and the personal privacy of the deceased. In this investigation, the chief coroner determined that the basic information in the Coroner’s Report was necessary to support the coroner’s findings.

“The chief coroner also found that the public interest in the disclosure outweighed the personal privacy of the deceased in this instance. This decision was made after careful consideration of the issues raised and the requirements of the legislation. The chief coroner is required to balance all interests in coming to a decision. The brief summary of findings contained in a Coroner’s Report serves to establish the facts, address speculation, and quiet the public imagination.”

Kilmer’s efforts this week have been stymied since Lapointe is out of the province and won’t be returning to the office until June 21, according to her executive administrative assistant.

Just Posted

Access: A day in the life using a wheelchair in Victoria

Black Press Media teamed up with the Victoria Disability Resource Centre to learn about barriers

Popular food truck to open restaurant on Oak Bay Avenue

Dead Beetz Burgers adds brick-and-mortar restaurant

CRD aims to reduce solid waste going to Hartland Landfill by a third by 2030

District launches public engagement campaign for waste reduction strategies

Sidney wasn’t and isn’t considering leaving current library system, says mayor

Current plans call for a review of library services in 2022

More than 300 teens take to the polls at Mount Douglas Secondary for mock federal election

‘This is a pretty engaged generation,’ says Mount Douglas Secondary social studies teacher

VIDEO: Explosion, fire sends woman running from Saanich home

Heavy smoke in the area, crews on scene

Zantac, the over-the-counter heartburn drug, pulled in Canada, U.S.

Health Canada also investigates possible carcinogen in some ranitidine drugs

B.C. public safety minister says cannabis edibles not in stores til January

Mike Farnworth says he wants regional issues considered when it comes to licensing

POLL: Do you think the day of the federal election should be a statutory holiday?

Increasing voter turnout has long been a goal of officials across the… Continue reading

Greta Thunberg calls for climate action in Alberta, but doesn’t talk oilsands

Swedish teen was met with some oil and gas industry supporters who came in a truck convoy

Scheer denies spreading ‘misinformation’ in predicting unannounced Liberal taxes

Conservative leader had claimed that a potential NDP-Liberal coalition could lead to a hike in GST

Chilliwack man pleads guilty in crash that killed pregnant woman

Frank Tessman charged under Motor Vehicle Act for accident that killed Kelowna school teacher

Kawhi Leonard, former Toronto Raptor, welcomed back to Vancouver at pre-season game

Fans go wild at pre-season game between L.A. Clippers and Dallas Mavericks at Rogers Arena

Greens and NDP go head to head on West Coast; Scheer takes fight to Bernier

Trudeau turns focus to key ridings outside Toronto after two days in Quebec

Most Read