Pastel colours and drying laundry line the rows of houses along coastline of Riomaggiore

Cinque Terre and Riomaggiore: The Italian coast shines in summer

Italy's a special place, but you already know this. Enjoy the food, look at the women, and don't complain about anything.

Italy’s a special place, but you already know this.

It’s practically its own continent, which you’ll learn if you travel anywhere else. There are Europeans – and they even include the English – and then there are Italians. The men wear underwear instead of board shorts and their’s as slicked as a cow’s tongue.

The woman are beautiful by osmosis. Their people know how to look like they’ll be in a photograph 50 years from now – even the ones who aren’t really from there.

It’s hard to tell which women are beautiful Italians and which women are beautiful because they’re Italian. There’s that feeling here – like everything changes colour and everything smells a little different – and the woman aren’t immune. When they arrive – from Spain, from Canada, from Bulgaria, it doesn’t matter – they become Italians. Their hair falls a little, their smile shapes a little, and their eyes are tired and cute and made for morning.

There’s something ‘tuff about an Italian chick, too. (Yes, I said chick. This is the Internet. I can pretend it’s still the 90’s.) That ability to wear a sundress with perfectly brown, bouncy hair and that thin smile one day. The ability to forgo it and get that dress dirty the next.

——————————

Vernazza, in Cinque Terre.

Vernazza, in Cinque Terre.

Kolby Solinsky in Cinque Terre

Me, rock bathing.

The harbo(u)r in Riomaggiore.

The harbo(u)r in Riomaggiore.

Yellow umbrellas line Monterosso al Mare, Italy.

Yellow umbrellas line Monterosso al Mare, Italy.

——————————

Cinque Terre is Italy’s Mos Eisley. (20 points if you understood that without clicking the link.)

I’d expect to find a refugee or two, a traveling band, an aging couple trying to regain youth on the rocks with a pizza and a bottle of wine in their hands… and, worst of all, Australians.

Swim. Sunbathe. Suntan. Sun-anything. Do it all day long.

Then, get a restaurant’s bottle of wine for 10 bones (that’s bucks) and enjoy the first sip, because you’ll notice right away just how good that house red is. (Screw white wine. Do you want apple juice or alcohol? Don’t come to Europe if you don’t want to go to Europe.)

There are five towns in Cinque Terre, which will be an obvious fact when you understand what Cinque Terre means – Five Lands.

Stay in Riomaggiore. It’s probably the most beautiful, but it’s absolutely the most accessible. The seagulls aren’t shy, the houses are authentic – don’t expect to find Maui’s Hilton in Cinque Terre, and be happy about that – and there is a mile of ocean front lined with topless women.

(We did Mar Mar hostel, by the way. I’d recommend it. It looked like Lulu Rooms was bumpin’ just fine enough, too.)

Before you go and say, “Well, not all topless is good topless”, just be thankful that complaint is an option. There are naked women, and they’re not afraid to be naked. This isn’t torture.

Vernazza is the postcard town. Monterosso is the sandcastle stop. The other two villages? I’ve never been, but I’m sure they’re just fine.

Like I’ve said all along… this is Italy. Don’t analyze it too much.

——————————

Just Posted

Ambitious B.C. Aviation Museum need $10M to get iconic Lancaster back in the air

Volunteers flock to work on bomber, restoration expected to take 10 years

Greater Victoria Harbour Authority to fall fake eagle tree at Ogden Point

Last year a fake tree was installed to try to entice eagles to stay in the area, without much success

Saanich to recognize Coun. Judy Brownoff for a quarter century on council

Award presentation will take place Monday evening

Saanich to potentially host first hydrogen fuel station on Vancouver Island

Station proposed for corner of Quadra Street and McKenzie Avenue

UVic project shows Keating Elementary students a helping hand

Victoria Hand Project offers free 3D printed arms in eight countries

VIDEO: The ‘most cosmopolitan’ of butterflies could migrate to B.C.

The painted lady butterfly will likely arrive this summer from Southern California

Inspirational Vancouver Island youngster dies after battle with brain cancer

Kaiden Finley ‘was seriously the strongest 11-year-old’

Is it a homicide? B.C. woman dies in hospital, seven months after being shot

Stepfather think Chilliwack case should now be a homicide, but IHIT has not confirmed anything

Indecent caller handed 18-month conditional sentence

Vancouver Island man pleaded guilty to making indecent phone and video calls to women across B.C.

Sources say Trudeau rejected Wilson-Raybould’s conservative pick for high court

Wilson-Raybould said Monday “there was no conflict between the PM and myself”

First Nations public art piece stolen in Nanaimo

Spindle Whorl went missing over the weekend, according to Nanaimo RCMP

Father-son duo at B.C. Children’s Hospital helps new dads fight depression

The pair teamed up to introduce the only known research-based mindfulness workshop for new dads

Mexican restaurant in B.C. told to take down Mexican flag

General manager of Primo’s Mexican Grill in White Rock: ‘I’ve never heard of anything like this’

B.C. NDP moves to provide tax credits, tax cut for LNG Canada

Provincial sales tax break of $596 million repayable after construction

Most Read